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 Thai Magic Charms 

The Magic Phallus

Among the wide variety of Thai animist traditions, the magic phallus is one of the most fascinating. A famous and easily accessable Thai spirit shrine, located at the rear of Hilton International Hotel in Bangkok, displays hundreds of penis-shaped offerings -- miniature and humongous, abstract and anthropomorphic, artful and lurid. These phallic offerings, known as balad kik or "honorable deputy dicks," are thought to invoke powers of protection and success. In fact, a Miss Thailand World beauty contestant hid one in her bouffant and was roundly chastised for creating an unfair advantage over the other contestants! Small versions are worn around the waist on intricately woven cords; larger versions are placed in auspicious positions in a business and bathed with lustral waters and gold leaf to keep their magic potent. Some balad kik have been blessed by revered monks and carry premium prices at amulet markets. Our sources assure us that the amulets below will dispense unique vibrations that are guaranteed to absorb and diminish any negative energies being directed, invisibly, towards your real family jewels.


The Cult of the Handsome Monk

There once was a young monk possessed of such fine and enticing features that it created a great distraction at his temple among worshippers and priests alike. To prevent further worldly and unsuitable imaginings, he allowed his lean and muscled body to become flabby and pot-bellied in the hope of discouraging further disruption. Still, his handsome face was so beguiling that his disciples continued to grow, threatening to overwhelm his small temple. Finally, the monk was forced to cover his face with his hands whenever he was seen in public, an act which only spread his fame farther and secured his immortality in the following amulets and charms. This cult, for obvious reasons, is popular with gay Thai men.

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